How to be Unhappy

a picture of people being happy that Google says I’m allowed to use

My wife, my lovely person, sent me one of those memes that pop up on social media the other day. Most of those things are dumb and designed specifically to get clicks and blah blah blah. Usually, they make me pessimistic and scoffy. But this one made me stop and consider. And so I thought I’d share it with you all in case anyone needed the reminder.

How to be Unhappy:

stay inside all day
move as little as possible
spend more than you earn
take yourself (and life) too seriously
look for reasons why things won’t work
always consume, never contribute
resent the lucky and successful
never say hello first
be unreliable

-James Clear

There is no recipe for achieving happiness, because it’s subjective and highly personal and fleeting. But doing the opposite of everything mentioned in Clear’s poem is a pretty good prescription.

I would only add this stanza: neglect time in the saddle

I intend to do the opposite of each and every single one of those suggestions for the next five days or so.

Wednesday (today): I work in an office, at a desk. Writing stories that not a ton of people read. It’s easy to get down on this and to take my job too seriously by wishing more people gave a rip about the stories I write. But I vow to make jokes with my co-workers. To contribute to whatever meetings I have today. To smile and to make others smile. To take a deep breath, close my eyes and remind myself of the life I have: Man … I am successful and lucky.

Thursday: I’ll be stuck inside again this day. But I’ll get outside and take a walk. Maybe I’ll roll the windows down in my car. I’ll say hello first. I’ll be reliable for work and family functions. Speaking of family functions, there’s that pre-kindergarten graduation ceremony for my eldest daughter. There, I’ll laugh. I’ll be in the moment. I’ll contribute to the happiness of my child.

Friday: I get paid this day. It’s not much. It never will be. I’ll spend that money on things we need in our family. Maybe one or two things we want. I’ll take another deep breath and I’ll go outside for a walk. Remind myself I am lucky.

Saturday: I’ll be on the mountain bike all day long, racing — er — riding the Mohican MTB 100k. ‘Nuff said there.

Sunday: On this day, my cousin graduates from high school. We’ll go down to Columbus to witness the ceremony. Graduating high school is easy these days. For my cousin, though, things have been hard. In December, they found cancer in his brain. He missed a bunch of school for surgeries and he’s gone though a lot. So have his parents, his brother. On this day, we’ll say hello. We’ll laugh and cry at this life that’s so serious it’s funny.

Oh, and Sunday we’ll press the pause button on Defining the Ineffable. Please, cycopaths, go find a way to be happy. Ride your bike. Laugh and cry. Hug and hold. Realize you are successful. You are lucky. Your life does work.

We’ll be back next Wednesday.